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 Employee Lounge

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:31 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2LcJTqwVug

"Ah, hello and welcome! I am pleased to announce the completion of the Employee Lounge. Ah, but first I should introduce myself before introducing what this place is. You may simply call me "The Narrator". Now you're probably wondering why The Writer isn't here to introduce his own characters. Well put simply, he's too busy exploring the world of Skyrim for the 8888th time to be bothered with actual work. So I'm here to restore the narrative flow. I mean I'm not doing anything else right now, so I might as well.

Now then, you may be asking yourself where you are. This is The Employee Lounge, a space between dimensions where characters that fall under Chris' narrative jurisdiction can meet, relax, and answer any questions that you may have for them. I of course fall under this category, so feel free to ask me any of those lingering questions in your mind. However, I cannot be held responsible for what the answers will do to your mental state. Now then, let's go over the rules, shall we?


Rule Number One: Please limit yourself to three questions at a time. I know it can be tempting to get it all out there in one go, but like sexual intercourse, it's very inconsiderate to anyone else involved in the activity. Let everyone else have a chance to enjoy themselves and ask trivial questions. Can we do that, yes, hmmmm? Wonderful.


Rule Number Two: You may use your three questions in just about any combination you would like. However, please refrain from asking questions directed to every character on the list. You know what they say, quality over quantity. Someone still has to write the answers to these questions, and the quality of the answers can diminish if there is simply too much to write at a time.


Rule Number Three: Please be patient. It could take some time before your question is answered. It could take three minutes, or it could take three days. Please don't rush the characters. They do have lives to eventually get back to.



I do believe that's it. Feel free to get a drink from the dispenser, admire the paintings, and of course ask your questions. Oh, and one last thing. Some of you may be tempted to ask "stupid" questions. Please direct all of those questions to Emperor Zerdark. Since the focus shifted to Adonia, he hasn't had much else to do recently. So he will fill the role of "That Guy with The Glasses". All that said, let us begin."

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Last edited by Zerdark on Sat May 21, 2016 4:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Laonoone
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:33 pm

Demodood, do Manaketes count as elves?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:38 pm

Laonoone wrote:
Demodood, do Manaketes count as elves?

"Do they have the long eared mark of the devil? Then yes!"

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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Death-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:43 pm

Emperor Zerdark, why is fire generally orange and yellow instead of blue-violet?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 4:50 pm

Death wrote:
Emperor Zerdark, why is fire generally orange and yellow instead of blue-violet?

Spoiler:
 
"Because you're not putting enough power into it. Which is a shame because it burns with a much more pleasant color if you do it correctly. Blue-violet flames simply burn with a higher level of energy. If you think about it, that may be more practical in a combat scenario if you can perfect it. Of course, there are ways to artificially make fire burn all sorts of different colors. These imitations however pale in comparison to the beauty that is a genuine violet fire illuminating the darkness amidst the screams of your enemies."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:18 pm

What is the color of chicken squared by the seventh root of mushrooms?

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Laonoone
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:32 pm

Linebeck, ever consider partnerships with wandering merchants in order to expand your scope?

Bobby, how's Knight School for you so far? Don't go taking too much of what Lao says seriously, yeah?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:32 pm

Black White Oyu wrote:
What is the color of chicken squared by the seventh root of mushrooms?

Spoiler:
 
"In order to get to the root of this question, we must first examine the mental state of the chicken. Did it have a traumatic experience with mushrooms at a young age? Think about that. Perhaps its home was invaded by the Mushroom Kingdom and the young chicken lost its father in the great Mushroom War. Thus the young chicken swore revenge and trained for the day where it too would join the great war, only to be squared by the seventh root of said mushrooms. What a terrible question."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
http://ciphersyndicate.forumotion.com/t2486-employee-lounge
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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:40 pm

Laonoone wrote:
Linebeck, ever consider partnerships with wandering merchants in order to expand your scope?

Bobby, how's Knight School for you so far? Don't go taking too much of what Lao says seriously, yeah?

"A smart question. The wise trader is always looking to expand his business and collect a larger share of the market. It's always been a personal goal of mine to expand Linebeck Trading and provide my services to all the good people of this fine country. Perhaps even the rest of the world? I just need to find reliable business partners and hard working employees to share in my dream to make Linebeck Trading a household name. The business is still young as am I, but one day it will grow beyond Monteport, mark my words. And it's all thanks to you wonderful customers! Now why not share in my success and buy something?"


"It's only been one day, but it feels like months have gone by! Maybe I just overexerted myself during training."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
http://ciphersyndicate.forumotion.com/t2486-employee-lounge
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Laonoone
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:50 pm

I'm broke

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Death-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:14 pm

Linebeck, have you ever sold something by accident and wished you had kept it?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:18 pm

"Accident? Of course not. It is hard to see certain treasures go however. For example, I had this model ship once. It was obviously hand crafted with a lot of love and care by a master craftsman. I was sad to see that one go, but the buyer was obviously a collector of these things. I'm sure the man will give it a nice home. I do miss it sometimes...

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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Laonoone
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:29 pm

Bowser and Kamek both since you're basically a team, are you aware of your next-door neighbors? Got any intention of diplomacy or do you want to conquer them?

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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:30 pm

WHAT IS THIS SHAPE OF A MUSHROOM CUBED BY THE EIGHTEENTH LEG OF THE CHICKEN OVERLORD?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:34 pm

"Harmph. Neighbors? My castle is on a hill. We don't have anyone next door, and that's how I like it."

"I remember we used to have neighbors back in the village. You used to play with that Joey kid all the time."

"Play?! King Bowser does not play! I was toughening the kid up for our conquest of this island! I need strong soldiers! Not weak little kids!"

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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Yikkin
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:34 pm

If I went back and became my own grandfather, would I die when he did? Before I was born?/notsrsquestion

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:41 pm

Black White Oyu wrote:
WHAT IS THIS SHAPE OF A MUSHROOM CUBED BY THE EIGHTEENTH LEG OF THE CHICKEN OVERLORD?

Spoiler:
 
"Like your head, it is cube shaped."

Yikkin wrote:
If I went back and became my own grandfather, would I die when he did? Before I was born?/notsrsquestion

Spoiler:
 
"Actually, you would go to jail for a minimum of fifteen years for endangering the time stream. I had this outlawed ages ago to prevent such nonsense. In the event that you did this before being caught with the intention to do it however, you would likely just create an alternate dimension and timeline and be stranded there without even realizing it."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:56 pm

Emperor Zerdark, very important question for you here. When referring to sodas...many will often say "That orange shit is janky yo!" and they generally prefer grape instead. So to that I ask you, Grape Soda...or Orange?

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Sun Oct 04, 2015 10:05 pm

Spoiler:
 
"Is...is that even language? I don't think that was even language. Wheatley, translate."

"Umm...I'm going to assume she meant to say, 'jerky'. That's what the autocorrect sphere is telling me, he says jerky. Definitely jerky. 87% sure on that one. So 'That orange shit is jerky, yo'. Dunno what that means, you humans confuse me."

Spoiler:
 
"So...orange soda is terrible jerky? You kids and your weird sayings. I can assure you that orange soda is not terrible jerky. It isn't even jerky at all. Besides, everyone knows that orange soda is objectively better than grape. Although I do prefer the color of grape soda over orange soda. However, taste is ultimately the deciding factor. If your soda tastes like like children's medicine, then your soda fails as a refreshing soft drink."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Mon Oct 05, 2015 6:51 pm

Zerdark wrote:
"Besides, everyone knows that orange soda is objectively better than grape. Although I do prefer the color of grape soda over orange soda. However, taste is ultimately the deciding factor. If your soda tastes like like children's medicine, then your soda fails as a refreshing soft drink."

That is the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say. Now why would you say the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say?

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Yikkin
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:11 pm

Black White Oyu wrote:
Zerdark wrote:
"Besides, everyone knows that orange soda is objectively better than grape. Although I do prefer the color of grape soda over orange soda. However, taste is ultimately the deciding factor. If your soda tastes like like children's medicine, then your soda fails as a refreshing soft drink."

That is the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say. Now why would you say the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say?

Because you're a moron.

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:48 pm

Black White Oyu wrote:
Zerdark wrote:
"Besides, everyone knows that orange soda is objectively better than grape. Although I do prefer the color of grape soda over orange soda. However, taste is ultimately the deciding factor. If your soda tastes like like children's medicine, then your soda fails as a refreshing soft drink."

That is the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say. Now why would you say the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say?


Spoiler:
 
"Simple. I'm the worst human being you've ever come into contact with. Feel free to direct all of your complaints, death threats, and hate mail to the complaint box. I could use more kindling for the coming winter."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:44 pm

Yikkin wrote:
Black White Oyu wrote:
Zerdark wrote:
"Besides, everyone knows that orange soda is objectively better than grape. Although I do prefer the color of grape soda over orange soda. However, taste is ultimately the deciding factor. If your soda tastes like like children's medicine, then your soda fails as a refreshing soft drink."

That is the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say. Now why would you say the worst thing I've ever heard somebody say?

Because you're a moron.

Stop talking to yourself.

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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Thu Oct 08, 2015 5:59 pm

Zerd, any particular thoughts on how your kids turned out to be?

Maxie, how's Courtney? >.>

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Zerdark
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PostSubject: Re: Employee Lounge   Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:19 pm

"I'm just happy they didn't follow in my footsteps. I'm playing a dangerous game here and I don't want to drag my kids into it. I just want them to take what I've provided for them and use it to live happy and peaceful lives. No cloak and dagger, no wars, nothing. I understand my daughter is living with her husband in the middle of the woods. I don't like that, but I have to trust that they'll be safe there. At the very least they won't be on the front lines of any conflict that starts. Though I have to admit, it's the necromancy that worries me the most. If something goes wrong I fear it'll be the death of Morgan. If I sense anything amiss in those woods, I'm dropping everything to check it out. I have people on standby and I'm not afraid to call in some favors.

As for my son, his work brings him all over the country. At his age I was also traveling the country, though I was on my own as a mercenary. The world is his to explore and I'm confident that I've prepared him well enough for whatever comes his way. Granted I've prepared several safe zones around the country should he need it. You can never be too careful, especially in this crazy world we live in. Need an example? Just look at the shadow creatures. "



"Why is it that you wish to know? I can assure you that Courtney has never once spoken of you."

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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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