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 The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition

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PostSubject: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Mon Aug 01, 2016 9:04 pm

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A small ship begins to approach an unfamiliar harbor. The man at the helm yells to wake his sleeping passengers. "Oi! Wake your asses up! We've got land! Land ho! Lan-" "Aaaaaguh!" A thud is heard as Wheatley collides with the man's head. "Oww..." "Ey!" An un-amused Zerdark stands in front of the door to the captain's room. "Would you stop your screaming you drunk cyclops? I'm trying to catch up on sleep..." "What're ye talkin' about? It's got to be way past mornin' now!" "Well someone kept me up all night with their sea shanties and partying." "Aah, don't pretend like you don't love em!" "Tavish. You wouldn't stop for hours. I only got to sleep sometime after 4 in the morning. You know how I know this? I threw my watch at the wall in frustration and it must have broke. For all I know it could have been even later." "Eheheh...sorry laddie." "You're paying for that watch by the way. Now if you pull this crap again, I'm drowning you in the saltwater and sailing myself home." "Ooh, that's just the crankiness talking! Come on, have a drink with me! That'll cheer ya right up!" "No. No it won't. What'll cheer me up is finding that island I described to you. I specifically asked for your help because of your past experiences sailing. I swear if I made the wrong decision-" "What'd ye think I got ya up for? We're coming up on it right now!"

The ship begins to dock at the harbor, where a bunch of Koopas begin to gather. Zerdark just looks at them and sighs internally. "...You've gotta be fucking kidding me." "What?" "This is what I was worried about? They're adorable. I was expecting battle hardened warriors, not a trip to the aquarium." "Oh, look at all the turtles! I've never seen em that big before!" "Tavish, you stay with the ship. I'm gonna go look around." "Ooh, you mean it? Maybe we can take one home with us!" "I somehow doubt that'll go over well. Besides, do you remember your pet goldfish?" "I was only trying to hand-feed it, I didn't think I'd electrocute the thing!" "You don't even have hands!" "Well...alright, I see, point to you. That might have been a flaw in my otherwise flawless plan. Just a small one though." "I'm not getting you another pet." "Aww...okay then." "Now then, let's get moving. With any luck, maybe these people have built an inn nearby." "You just want to sleep? But we just got here!" "I see an opportunity to nap, I'm taking it. Why do you think I told Tavish to stay behind?" "Ah...fair point."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:52 pm

"Ghosts can't die... but we can be contained..." A troubled look comes over her face.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:59 pm

"Yes, your father briefly alluded to that during our meeting. He expressed a hateful attitude toward vacuum cleaners. I'd say containment is looking to be the most likely reason for Bandy Andy's unusual absence. In any case, the truth will no doubt present itself at some point during the trial. It's likely to be a long one though if you intend to watch."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:08 pm

"This is a crucial trial for me to watch, for the wellbeing of my people."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:16 pm

"I understand. If the wrong person is convicted, the truth may elude us forever. And that's likely what the culprit is banking on. No matter who it is though, I have no intention of letting them walk away from this."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:48 pm

"I wish you luck."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:13 pm

"Thank you. I might need it."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:33 pm

Lady Bow vanishes back into the empty air.

Jolene enters shortly, looking better composed than previous seen. Her face holds a worn expression and her eyes fail to stay focused.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:36 pm

"Ah, good morning Miss Jolene. I take it the police were relentless in their questioning. At least they take their jobs seriously, not that it helps us right now."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Thu Nov 17, 2016 12:17 am

"The more thorough they are, the more confident am I that my innocence will be proven."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Thu Nov 17, 2016 1:09 am

"That's a good attitude to have. Now it seems like it's just about time...let's head in. We can speak more after today's trial or during a recess if there is one."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:26 pm

June 10th, 10:00AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 1


Spoiler:
 

Zerdark takes his place at the defense's bench, right across from the prosecutor. The judge takes his seat above everyone else as a Pianta bailiff speaks. "All rise for the honorable Judge Don Pianta!" The judge brings down his gavel. "Court's now in session for the trial of Jolene." A blue robed Koopa speaks from the prosecutor's bench. "The prosecution is ready, your honor." "The defense is ready your honor." "Hold on. You in the coat, you're the attorney?" "Yes your honor. Is that a problem?" "I haven't seen your face in any past trials. I'm assuming you're new to my courtroom so I'm giving you this one warning in advance. I don't tolerate any nonsense in my court. Is that clear?" "Transparent." "Good. Now then, start by stating your name defender." "Of course. My name is Zerdark Gavin, although some may know me better as The Silver Shroud." The crowd watching the trial begin excitedly murmuring to each other. In response to this, the judge slams his gavel. "Order! An introduction doesn't require a reaction from the crowd!" "Hmph, fans of yours I take it?" "I have made something of a name for myself in certain circles." "Just try to keep your fans under control. This is a court of law, not a wrestling arena." "I'm fully aware of this. Now if we're done with that, I'd like to get started." "Good. Prosecutor Kamek, your opening statement." "The prosecution aims to prove that on the night of June 7th, the defendant murdered the victim in cold blood. We will present evidence supporting this claim and are prepared to call witnesses to the stand." "Defense?" "The defense believes there is room for reasonable doubt in this case and aims to prove the innocence of the defendant. The defense pleads Not Guilty." "Very well. The prosecution may summon its first witness." "I call Detective Pennington to the stand."

Spoiler:
 

A small penguin creature dressed in old-school detective clothes takes the stand. "Witness, state your name and occupation for the record." "Hmm..." He pulls out a magnifying glass and takes aim at the prosecutor. "Aha, I see it now! A prosecutor clothed in blue, magic scepter in hand. Kamek, is it not?" "Very good, but that doesn't answer my question. State YOUR name and occupation." "Ah yes, of course. I go by Pennington. I'm the assistant detective for this case." "Assistant?" "I'm in an apprenticeship program under the lead detective for this case. Detective Herringway believed this was a perfect chance for me to try testifying before a court." "I prefer to hear from the lead detective himself, but as long as you stick to the facts I'll allow it. Now prove you're capable by testifying as to the facts of this case." "Indubitably, your honor."

Spoiler:
 
Witness Testimony - Case Outline

"On the night of June 7th, a body was discovered in The Glitz Pit. A closed off room on the second floor of the storage area to be more specific. The victim, a wrestler who went under the professional alias 'Bandy Andy', was discovered in that room during the night's main event. According to the autopsy, cause of death was blunt force trauma. The weapon was discovered near the victim's body, covered in the defendant's fingerprints. The defendant was arrested later that night." "As you can see your honor, the case is rather simple." "If everything is as the witness says, then yes." "Before we proceed, I'd like a copy of the autopsy report." "Of course, I had several copies made. Here's yours."

Autopsy Report added to the Court Record.
Spoiler:
 

"The defense may begin its cross examination." "Mr. Pennington, what time exactly was the body discovered?" "I don't have an exact time, but authorities were on the scene at around 8:25." "I see. Next I'd like to ask what exactly the weapon was." At this, Kamek snickers to himself. "(What's so funny...?)" "The weapon was this clipboard. It belonged to the defendant. One of the spares they keep I assume. It's broken now, clearly happened when the defendant struck the victim over the head with it." "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Your honor, I'd like that statement added to his testimony." "Very well. Witness, add that to your testimony. By the way, I accept the weapon as evidence."

Broken Clipboard added to the Court Record.
Spoiler:
 

"The murder weapon was this clipboard belonging to the defendant." "Objection! Prosecutor Kamek, am I to assume you agree with the detective in the assertion that this clipboard is the murder weapon?" "Why yes, we do. It's a strong pillar of our case." "Well I hope you have insurance, because that pillar is about to come crashing down." Zerdark slams his fist onto the desk. "I have a simple question for you. How does a weapon used to bludgeon someone to death not have a single drop of blood on it?!" "Huh...? Wait. whaaaat?!"

Spoiler:
 

"Detective, what sort of investigation are you running where you can't even find the correct weapon?!" "Objection! Isn't it obvious that the defendant simply cleaned the clipboard? You're grasping at straws and you know it." "Objection! If the defendant was going to go out of her way to clean off the clipboard, why did she not simply dispose of the weapon altogether?" "Nghah! W-Well...this...this changes nothing! Prove it! Prove that this isn't the murder weapon!" "Objection! Mr. Kamek, you're the one who submitted this clipboard as evidence. It's not I that need prove anything here. Rather, the burden of proof lies with you, the prosecution! Prove that this IS the weapon! All that's been shown here is a broken clipboard. But without any proof of it striking the victim, all you have is a spare clipboard belonging to the defendant. In which case, her fingerprints were merely found on an irrelevant piece of trash. How then can you claim that she struck the victim?!" "Ngh...curse you...I had you figured for a neanderthalic wrestler... The judge slams his gavel. "Objection sustained. Prosecutor Kamek, can you prove the relevancy of this clipboard? If not, I'll have to dismiss it." "Ngh...test. I demand it be tested for blood immediately. For that matter, why was it not tested before the trial, detective?" "D-Don't ask me! I'm just an apprentice!" "Well until we get this clipboard tested, I cannot acknowledge it as the murder weapon. Mr. Kamek, I hope you have something more concrete to present..." "The prosecution...would like to call another witness." "Very well. This court shall take a 15 minute recess while the prosecution prepares its next witness and tests the clipboard for traces of blood. Court is now in recess!" He slams down his gavel and everyone exits the courtroom. Zerdark heads back to the defendant lobby to talk to his client.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:34 am

Said client appears bored, if uneased.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:03 pm

"Well you seem fairly disinterested. I guess that's better than blind panic though. In any case the trial isn't over and we have fifteen minutes, so I'd like to confirm something with you."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:49 pm

"Yes?"

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:51 pm

"Your alibi. The only avenue of attack I can see the prosecution taking in the absence of concrete evidence is your whereabouts during the crime. He'll most likely try to link you to the storage area on the night of the murder. So where were you really?"

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:00 pm

"...The Juice Bar."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:02 pm

"A likely story, but it's not me we have to convince in there. I don't suppose you saved your receipt?"

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:09 pm

"Saved, filed, cross-referenced with my financial accounts. As per proper procedure."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:15 pm

"...Oh. I wasn't actually expecting that. Your story may stand a chance in there after all. Where do you keep your receipts?"

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:28 pm

"Second drawer of my filing cabinet, which I keep locked with my keys. Which they took."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:29 pm

"Fantastic...well I could pick the lock, but even I can't do that and be back here in thirteen minutes."

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:09 pm

"I'd be happy to lend a helping hand!" speaks an invisible voice nearby. Within two minutes, the receipts are placed in the chair nearby.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:16 pm

Zerdark flips through and finds the appropriate receipt. "Well now, this will definitely prove helpful! (These Boos are proving more reliable than over half my colleagues...something to note for later.) Thank you."

Jolene's Receipt added to the Court Record.
Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:08 pm

"No problem! We are allies of truth and justice, and spying is fun too, eeheeheeeh!"

Jolene adjusts her glasses uncomfortably.

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PostSubject: Re: The Adventures of Wheatley and Zerdark: Koopa Island Edition   Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:05 pm

June 10th, 10:50AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 1



Spoiler:
 
"Court will now reconvene." Zerdark looks over at Kamek who doesn't appear very happy. He appears hunched over, looking angrily at the report in his hand. Don Pianta merely shakes his head. "Let's waste no time. What were the results of the testing?" "It is as the defense claims. No fingerprints were found on the clipboard." "Well this is pretty damning for the prosecution's case. I'll have to reject the clipboard as the murder weapon." "And with no weapon, all you have to attack with is an insignificant piece of trash. "For your sake, I hope you have something else to present today. I do not like wasting of the court's time." "I assure you Your Honor that punishment will be meted out to those in charge of the investigation. In the meantime however, the prosecution is prepared to proceed without the murder weapon. We have a witness we'd like to call. A witness who can put this whole matter to rest." "And who is this decisive witness?" "A security guard who was patrolling the area near the crime scene at the time of the murder. I believe you'll find his testimony quite persuasive." "I have no objections to calling this witness." "Very well. The prosecution may bring their witness to the stand."

The witness is escorted to the stand. He looks around and is noticeably surprised to see the Silver Shroud standing at the defense's bench, though he doesn't say anything. "Witness, please state your name and occupation for the record." "Yes, sir. My name is Jum P. I work as a security guard at the Glitz Pit." "You work the late afternoon and evening shifts, correct?" "Yes sir." "And this holds true for the night of the crime, yes?" "That's correct." "Very well. Witness, tell the court what you witnessed on the night of the murder."

Spoiler:
 
Witness Testimony - Lonely Patrol

"My shift started at 5PM sharp on the night of the crime. After about 2 hours, I see Miss Jolene leaving the storage area. I didn't suspect anything at the time, I figured she was just preparing for the night's big event. I didn't know about the murder until later."

"Did you see anyone else that night?" "No sir." "Hm...very well. The defense may begin its cross examination." "Witness, you said in your testimony that you saw the defendant 2 hours after your shift started. This would be around 7PM, correct?" "That'd be right, Mr. Shroud." "So you claim to have seen Jolene near the scene of the crime at around 7PM?" "I was paying close attention to the time, but it was around then yes." "An interesting tale. Too bad it's impossible." "Objection! You can't just dismiss his story with no proof. Why do you say it's impossible?" "Yes, I'd like to know too. Why would it be impossible for the witness to have seen the defendant?" "I have in my possession a receipt given to the defendant on the night of the murder. The time printed on the receipt is 7:06PM. This places her at the Juice Bar at that time. Therefore, how could the witness possibly see my client leaving the storage area?!" "W-what?!" "Objection! Mr. Gavin, why is this our first time seeing this receipt?" "I spoke to my client in the lobby during the recess and gave me her alibi. I wanted to confirm it, and she mentioned an interesting fact. She saves every receipt she receives. Perhaps a bit overly cautious, but in this case I'd say it gives her a strong alibi." "Ngh...of all the convenient...but what if it's fake? Maybe you just made this up during the recess!" "HOLD IT!" "(That voice...why does it sound familiar? And why do I have a bad feeling about this?)"

Spoiler:
 

Waluigi jumps in front of the witness stand from the gallery, making a perfect landing. "Y-You!" "Heh ha! You thought you could run a trial without me? TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME!" "What is the meaning of this?! Bailiff, get this man out of here this instant!" "Now hold on there judgy, I'm a witness in this here case too ya know!" "You're...a witness?" "Yeah. Y'see, I was listening in on the trial from the gallery while trying to sell some custom Silver Shroud merch. I heard he was gonna be in this trial, so I figured I could make some money! But then I hear the old guy in the blue robes talking about a fake receipt. Well I'm here to confirm Jolene's alibi!" "Wait what now?" "Yeah, I kinda own the place she went to. I'm in the process of turning that old Juice Bar into a WaBucks location! I can tell ya for sure, that receipt there is real. Not that we really need that, I saw her there myself!" "Whaaat?! Are you sure it wasn't someone else?" "Well she was wearing a dress and not glasses, but I never forget a cute face! So I can say for sure, she definitely came by my Juice Bar. Didn't spend a lot of money and kinda stood around for awhile, but what can ya do. She paid for her drink, long as she at least buys something she can loiter all day if she wants. I don't care." "Well...I didn't expect this today. Opinions, Mr. Gavin? Kamek?" "I see no room for error in Waluigi's testimony, though I do have one question for our surprise witness here." "Whaddya want now? Gonna shower me with praise? I just saved your client after all so it's understandable." "You mentioned before you were selling Silver Shroud merchandise?" "Yeah! I got these prototype bobbleheads! Your name alone is enough to make a mint!" "I want half the profits." "Say wha?" "You're using my likeness. Without permission I might add. I demand fair compensation is all." "Well, that's uh...oh hey, look at the time! Gotta scram!" Waluigi runs from the courtroom, leaving everyone feeling confused. "...I'll deal with him after our current case. Speaking of which, I believe his testimony to be sufficient proof as to the legitimacy of the receipt. Therefore I'd like to further question our original witness." "Me sir?" "Yes you! Why did you lie to the court?! This is a murder trial!" "I would like to know this as well. You've wasted a lot of our time, now testify to the truth before I lose my patience!" "You...I will have you punished later. But if you don't tell the truth now I will make it even worse for you!" "A-Alright alright, I'll talk!"

Spoiler:
 
Witness Testimony - The Truth

"Alright, the truth is I wasn't even working that night. It was my day off, but I went in anyway to see the Title Match. I didn't even go backstage that night since I went there as a customer and not an employee. After the murder happened though, I was told to come forward as a witness even though I didn't see nothing. They flashed a bag of coins in my face and told me what to say. But I have nothing to do with the incident! Please, you have to believe me!"

"Of all the- I can't believe you! You idiot!" "Foolish moron, this is a matter of life and death!" "You will be charged for your crime later, but right now I want to know who. Who bribed you? Who told you to say what you did?" "I...I can't say. They'll have me killed if I say anything more! I...I don't want to die too..." "Too?" "I said too much. Just...just take me to jail already! You'll be saving my life!" "Very well. Bailiff, take him in."

Spoiler:
 

"How is the witness doing Kamek?" "He's been placed under arrest and is being escorted to the local detention center as we speak." "This trial has just been one big circus today. We're left with no murder weapon, no witnesses, and no other suspects. I'm afraid I cannot declare a verdict under these circumstances." "Damn it all..." "I want to see more concrete evidence presented in tomorrow's trial. I also want to hear from the police department why we have nothing today. I want an explanation before we proceed any further in this trial. Am I clear? I want answers." "Yes, Your Honor." "As for you Gavin, you performed well today. Though I suggest you spend this time searching for more clues. You've still yet to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt your client's innocence, but I'm granting an extra day of investigation." "I understand, Your Honor. It's appreciated." "Good. We will reconvene tomorrow. For now, court is adjourned."

_________________
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...I finally updated my signature. Welp. That's it. I don't have a joke or anything. You can go home now. Why are you still reading this? You're not getting anything else. Oh okay, fine. Here.
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