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 Spymaster's Report: King Bowser Koopa

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Emperor of the Multiverse
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Posts : 19362
Join date : 2013-07-15
Age : 21
Location : Cipher HQ

PostSubject: Spymaster's Report: King Bowser Koopa   Mon Nov 07, 2016 3:36 pm

Case Study: King Bowser Koopa
Date: July 22nd, 2005
Reporter: Spymaster [REDACTED]
Mission: Exploratory, reconnaissance
Objective: Learn details on Koopa Island and its leaders.
Method: Arrive via small ship and attempt to blend in with the local population.
Approved by: King Boreal Vitalis

Case Summary: King Bowser Koopa appears to be the supreme ruler of what is officially known as the Koopa Kingdom, though he has selected direct subordinates to rule over select parts of the population. A more detailed report on each of these individuals can be found within the folder compiled on Koopa Island itself. While the rulers of the varying species on the island all appear to match their respective subjects, Bowser himself appears to be of an undocumented species that is not a complete match to the Koopas he claims to be a part of. The only similarity between them is the fact that they have shells, though Bowser's is much larger and has spikes protruding out the back. Perhaps a land dragon of some sort? Considering all the physical traits and his abilities, this is the only conclusion I can come to. Enclosed are several pictures of the man.

Public Perception: King Bowser appears to be almost universally beloved by the population. The Koopas appear to look up to him as a messiah while the majority of the rest of the population view him as a great man who unified the country and brought prosperity to everyone. He even appears to inspire loyalty in the dead. Legions of sentient skeletons have sworn loyalty to a leader that swears loyalty to Bowser, while legions of spherical ghosts have done the same. Said skeletons and ghosts can often be seen on the streets among regular townspeople, interacting as if nothing unusual is occurring. While his reputation is among the most positive I've ever recorded, he does of course have his detractors. Some criticize his methods as being too violent and aggressive, while others are simply bitter about not being independent anymore. Regardless, morale seems rather high under Bowser's rule.

Opinions: King Bowser appears to be a surprisingly good leader. While clearly greedy and gluttonous, it does not come at the expense of the people. Rather, he chooses to make his fortune by building great attractions that I must admit, even I enjoy and would throw money at. Should we choose to pursue friendly relations with the Koopa Kingdom, tourism would no doubt be a great boon for their country while they also have a great number of exotic items to trade. I would highly encourage considering an alliance of some sort. King Bowser is clearly no fool and should be able to recognize the benefits of such a relationship. They stand to make a lot of money while we stand to gain a lot of items we wouldn't be able to get anywhere else. We both also stand to gain powerful military allies. Their military, while relatively small compared to ours, is a diverse organization with unique abilities across the board. Having them on our side can only be a benefit to us. As a side note, I question why he calls himself "King" when the proper term would be "Emperor". He has several Kings ruling over territory on the island under his direct command. King Boo, King Bones, King Bob-Omb, etc. By definition, this makes him Emperor. Perhaps the word "Emperor" does not exist in their vocabulary? A strange omission, though relatively insignificant.

Contingency Plan: In the event it is decided that King Bowser should be deposed, I have come up with a few options. We can try to play it smart, or we can go loud and dumb. If we want to play it smart, an option is to poison his food. He's a glutton, so it is perhaps possible to infiltrate the cooking staff and apply small amounts of poison to each dish he consumes that are undetectable, but will quickly add up as he continues to consume. We will of course have to make the poison by hand. Can't buy it and risk it being traced. Alternatively one can find some poison in circulation and steal it. The exact method of which to obtain the poison, I leave up to the agent in charge of the assassination.

Now if we want to go loud and dumb, we could make use of Bowser's pets. It's a crude plan, but if one were to spray the area with some animal pheromones that'll incite them to attack, an agent could take advantage of the chaos and confusion in order to personally assassinate Bowser. Or if planned properly, Bowser himself could be a victim of his own pets, making it look like a tragic accident. The exit strategy is more or less the same for both options. Slip out in the chaos or even better, before anyone even has time to realize what's going on. Play it right, you can waltz out the front door without anyone the wiser and be on a ship back home before an investigation can even be carried out.

I should mention however that an assassination of King Bowser is something I would STRONGLY advise against and is something that should only be considered as an absolute last resort. As mentioned previously, Bowser is beloved by his people. His sudden removal could inspire fear and distrust of outsiders, and perhaps even incite a civil war between the varying factions on the island. Friendly relations with the country would be impossible after such an event. It's also possible that whoever becomes the new leader of the country would seek revenge should they suspect a murder plot. I would only recommend an assassination of Bowser should we already be considering a war with the Koopa Kingdom, as his assassination would likely throw the Kingdom into chaos.

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